Thursday, March 24, 2011
The other night I had a dream that disturbed me. I have read, as have many, of the various people in the world who feel compelled to change their bodies appearance to make them look like some sort of animal. There is a fellow who files his teeth to a point and tattooed his entire body green in an attempt to look like a lizard. A woman has tiger stripes tattooed on her. Whatever makes someone happy, I guess, I am pretty tolerant. I dreamed that I was in some kind of carnival. It was huge, impossibly large. It was a carnival the size of a planet. It just didn't stop. Everywhere you looked there was something being cooked, fired sprayed from the lips of skinny entertainers, people on stilts laughing hysterically through dark makeup. One of the attractions was him. He had modified his body. Entirely. The encounter was surreal, entirely disturbing, it made me feel like a child, I was so frightened. His hands and feet were gone, replaced by hooves. His stare was absolutely maddening. I have seen pig's heads cut from the body before and the stare was like that. Disconnected, angry and singularly menacing. His ears were like a caricature of a pig. They were long and ran down the center of his back. More like a rabbit's ears than anything. He was completely hairless. He just stood there, in this pen that he had chosen for himself. It was more like a crouch, he could no longer stand in the true sense of the word. He had entirely turned away from society and found his own personal peace in this disgusting pen with hay and feces on the floor. He was proud of what he had done. His contempt for me as I looked at him was entirely unashamed. He hated what he used to be and loved what he had become. Unable to speak, all that I sensed was just that, sensation and perception. My eyes seeing the impossible and my brain trying to make sense of it. He was menacing, and he loved the fear that he knew he was pulling out of me and the other lookers on. I think that what was the worst of it all was the realization that this was not done in a tattoo parlor, but through extensive and invasive surgery. Time and time again, going under the knife to change into this terrible little monster. And relishing in the end result. There was no turning back for him. He would be this thing, not man and not animal, forever. Once I left the pen, I realized how dark this part of the carnival was. There were other parts that were not like this, but they were very far away. The scope of it all was impossibly big. I have never in my life seen anything so large, because the laws of physics would just blow a structure that big down. It just isn't possible. Not long after this I woke up, without really seeing much more of the planet.